The concept of Thought

A definition:

Organized views of a specific topic; a intelligent production of the mind; reasoning ability; the power to imagine.

I love to think. In my romantic view of life as a young adult, I dramatize my moments of intellectual creativity by taking my journal to a tea or coffee shop and processing through the things that rattle in the emptiness upstairs :) Sometimes I draw a diagram or a picture to illustrate. Oh man...that's when I'm REALLY thinking well ;)

I have been confronted by the reality of accountability...but more than in actions...accountability of THOUGHT. Sometimes it seems as though those things that are buried so deep in our being are not important because no one can see them. We are so wrong. Guess who sees them? :)

In my musings, I did some research:

• The Origin of Thought: The Heart
• Psalm 19:14 "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, oh LORD my strength and my Redeemer."

• What you think in your heart is a reflection of your character.
• Proverbs 23:7 "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he..."

• The ability to think is a gift of God to be used with faith.
• Romans 12:3 "For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith."

• When God calls us to repent, He tells us to repent in action AND thought.
  
• 1 Corinthians 10:12 "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall."
  
• Isaiah 55:7 "Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD..."

Unopened books and unwritten pages

Good afternoon, friends.

Today, May 7th, is my sister's 22nd birthday.

Happy Birthday, Michelle. I wish you beauty and peace on a day dedicated to celebrating you.

The cool of the afternoon...

Stuck in my head

I didn't know who Shawn MacDonald was until I came to Moody. My Christian music library has certainly exploded since then :) I've been sitting at work for a few hours singing the few lines I know from this song, so I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. Look up the song sometime...very beautiful.

I want to be ready
When the Son Almighty comes
To lay claim to Him
And Him, alone
I want to be ready
To stand at His side
For His eyes to gaze upon me
In His glory and might

I want to be ready
For Him and Him, alone
I want to be

I want to be ready
To cry out His name
To lay up in His arms
Delight in His fame
I want to be ready
To be embraced by His love
Before Thee Almighty
To take me up above


I want to be ready
For Him and Him alone
I want to be... ready

To gaze upon Your throne
To give You all I own
O My King
To fall upon my knees
To give You all the glory

I want to be ready
For You alone
I want to be

The sun through the rain is like a smile through tears.

My dear friends and therefore loved ones...

May peace abound with each of you today. I have news to share with you.

By various people, situations, and reasons, God has strongly shut the door to going to Ghana this summer. I believe it is His good, perfect, and pleasing will to do so and I'm not questioning "why?"

For nearly my entire life, I have prayed so hard for dream that I believed God called me to. I still think God planted that desire in me so long ago to lead me to the place I am now. As for the fulfillment of that calling, perhaps it is not supposed to take the form of serving in Ghana or Sudan. Perhaps the fulfillment is far different, temporary, or futurist than I think. Or perhaps there is something else in store? Whatever God's plans, the last two days, God has made it so evident that He has different ideas in mind and He is in control.

For those of you that were so gracious and generous to pledge your time and energy in prayer as well as financial support, I am so grateful for your sacrificial love towards me. For the logistics of money, I will soon be sending the checks back to you so that money can be returned to your accounts.

Yesterday, I was not concerned that God may be pulling me out of an internship.

Today, I have not been concerned that God is changing the calling of my life--but I always knew that if and when that day took place, it would be a hard time...and it is. Change can be painful and sudden, but it is comforting to see the hand of God directing the change.

So...because He is faithful, all I can say is...

As you wish, Lord.

Have a good laugh...

The front fell off!

Mulling thoughts

Take a few minutes to write or type your answers down.

Question: Who are the people that inspire you to righteousness?

Internship Update

I received my first sponsorship today in the mail! Praise the Lord! This is actually happening!

Whatever befall...Jesus doeth all things well.

Rock of ages when the day seems long
From this labor and this heart ache I have come
The skies wear out, but You remain the same
Rock of ages I praise Your name.

Rock of ages You have brought me near
You have poured life, blood, Your love and Your tears
To make this stone heart come alive again
Rock of ages forgive my sin.

Rock of ages
Rock of ages
Bind Your children til the kingdom comes
Rock of ages, Your will be done.

Rock of ages when in want or rest
My desperate need for such a Savior I confess
And pull idols out from my hard embrace
Rock of ages, I need Your grace

Rock of ages
Broke and scorned for me
Who am I that You would die to make me free
To give me glory You took the death and the pain
Rock of ages, my offering

Rock of ages
Rock of ages
Bind Your children until the kingdom comes
Rock of ages, Your will be done.


Rock of ages, "It is done!" He cried
The curtains torn and I see justice satisfied
Now write Your mercy here on my heart and hands
Rock of ages, in faith I stand

Rock of ages, my great hope secured
You promise holds just like an anchor to my soul
And bind Your children with cords of love and grace
Rock of ages, we give You praise

Internship Update

The pressure's on...

I got an email today from the director of ECM (Every Child Ministries) that had my flight itinerary attached. Looks like I'll be flying from:

San Antonio-->Houston-->London-->Accra

I'm so excited! And nervous. The common theme for this has been waiting on God. The next thing to watch Him provide is finances. By April 23rd, I have a $2,500 payment due. The full amount has to be in by May $5,210. OOF! A good challenge. If the Lord doesn't provide, there is something else in store. We shall see. :) just PRAY.

The rest of my prayer/support letters are being sent in the next few days. If you'd like to know more about the trip and do not receive one in the next few days, let me know and I'll shoot you an email about it. :)

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In other news, it's SPRING in CHICAGO!!!! :D PRAISE HIM! The sun lives again!!!

blessings,
em

Firsts

"See that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,

redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is."

~ Ephesians 5:15-17 ~

In a corner of your mind...

I think my favorite sight in Chicago since I've been here is the sunrise when it hits right between the buildings. If you look from my window, the view stretches immediately down Chicago Avenue to the lake...

Sometimes, it seems like the sun doesn't exist in the winter. It's finally peeking out again.

When I was little and we'd drive down to Redlands, CA to see Grampy and Grammy (dad's parents)...we'd look for bluebelly lizards on the rock piles. They used to bask in the sunshine :) Did you know, if you catch one and rub it's belly, you can actually put it to sleep? Then its tail falls off and little girls start screaming. ;) All that to say...I've felt like a bluebelly lizard the past couple days, soaking in all the sunshine :)

Moody hosted the Evangelical Theological Society conference this week. I didn't register for the conference, but for a $10 registration fee, you could attend any of the various speakers plus you had access to the book displays from top Christian publishers for a huge discount. Smart stuff! I was able to attend two of the papers this morning: Robert Culver, talking about Calvin's position on Church Discipline, and second was Andrew Schmutzer (MBI prof), discussing the Theology of Sexual Abuse. I walked away with so much to think about, but the over-arching concepts I took from each:

• Church discipline has three goals:
• To reflect the glory of God
• To encourage the salvation of the offender
• To maintain the integrity of the church

• Sexual abuse fragments the body and soul of the victim. Healing can take place over time--but it does not remove their suspicion of others. Those that make an incredibly affective impact are the "wounded healers"--those that have experienced similar situations and can help victims redeem the memories and past

Hm...interesting thoughts. As I walked out from those sessions, I had an overwhelming sense of anxiety for all those in positions of leadership in churches, especially pastors. I looked around the cafeteria wondering, are these young 20-something year old men studying to be pastors really ready and capable to take on the issues that you face when leading churches and families. Are these women ready to come along side and encourage, serve, and extend compassion. How many of us will find ourselves in similar situations as offenders, victims, or counselors of either? CRAZY. I pray protection and wisdom on the lives of all these people training for such ministry.

Final thought...God does this:
"I have satiated the weary soul, and I have replenished every sorrowful soul." -Jeremiah 31:25

Blessings. Em

To stand in contemplation of one's surroundings.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. it is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you! We are in charge of our "ATTITUDES." -Charles Swindoll

Day One

This is so weird...

So...I have a special someone to introduce... :D

So a blonde walks into a salon...

...and disaster strikes!

Once upon a time, Emily and her older sister, Amy, decide it would be fun to have a sister date at the salon. Emily needed her hair cut, and Amy opted to get a manicure. Amy decides Emily's hair would look nice with some slight red highlights when it's cut, so Emily says okay :) After sitting in the chair (aka the hot seat), it begins...

Emily: Hi! I'd like my hair cut like this and I'd like a few light red highlights.

Mind you, this is Emily's first time getting ANY sort of color in her hair. With the first stroke of the paint brush, it was too late to stop her. The hair-dress (who did not speak English well) began dying her hair....ALL of her hair. Emily laughed it off at first, convinced that it would just turn out a light red and hair would grow back. 45 minutes later, dye is being washed out and 3 managers and surrounding Emily with looks of horror on their faces...

Not blonde...
Not red...
Try BLACK! (with red tint in the light)

I believe the terminology they used was "Party girl style"...so descriptive of Emily, right? HA!

Manager 1: Do you work in an office...because this isn't going to work if you do....

Manager 2: You know, it's really not that bad...it's just a statement...

Hair-Dresser: Lo siento...I'm so sorry...siento siento...

Oh fun... :) At this point, Amy had to leave to pick up her dear husband in Austin, so Emily is stranded at the salon without a car and a party on her head. Her amazing friend, CJ, calls and says she'll pick her up. Meanwhile, the managers strip the color from Emily's hair and redye it a red/brown (which later turns purple). :P

Emily: You know, I don't think I'm going to have time to have my hair cut...let's just dry it and I'll get it cut another time. The color will do it for me today :) (nice fake smile)

As she walks out of the salon with her dye-stained forehead, neck, ears, and let's not forget the hair...CJ stifles her laughter as she tries to be supportive of her emotional friend. Emily finally gets home to her two beloved parental units, sitting walking the afternoon news.

Silence and terror fills the air as they explode into a symphony of questions. "Who did this?! Did you pay for it? Maybe we can get an appointment somewhere else? I'm calling the managers...." 20 minutes later, Emily is back in a salon chair with the salon-owner trying to rescue her volcano hair.

THE FINAL RESULT:

Emily is no longer blonde. HA! Let's try that same dark brownish/redish color with a full highlight...a nice layered cut and some swoopy bangs...We're set!


*Sigh* pictures will come when I have the courage to let them be taken... :P but this gives you an idea...


:D moral of the story...everyone should just shave their heads and not worry about hair.

Happy Sunday!!!!

Bowling!!!!

Here are pictures from the Covenant of Grace Church bowling adventure! Though it was at 9:30 in the morning, we had a great turn-out and some amazing scores!

Bits and pieces

Confession: daily devotions are ridiculously hard for me. I am the epitome of inconsistency. BUT, despite that, God blesses the time I do spend in His word.

I'm reading through Jeremiah at present. Today I got to chapter 32.

At this point, Jerusalem has been captured by Nebuchadnezzar. Judah's king, Zedekiah, seems pretty fed up with life at this point so he takes Jeremiah and locks him up in his palace courtyard--a make-shift prison at that time. While he's in prison, Jeremiah interacts with a bunch of random people, but one man in particular approaches him and says in paraphrase: you have the right to redeem/buy this plot of land if you so desire it, even though you're in prison and have seemingly no use for it while you're locked up.

Now, who in their right mind, while locked in prison with no assurance of EVER being let go, would pay good money for land that he may never get to see or use? As I read this, I'm thinking, Jeremiah's an idiot. Haha oh Emily...if only you stood back and saw God's bigger plan.

SO. Even Jeremiah gets to wondering, why the heck did I buy this land in my present situation...so he asks God:

"Ah Lord GOD, behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. there is nothing too hard for You...

You have brought Your people Israel out of the land of Egypt...

You have given them this land...and they came in and took possession of it, but they have not obeyed Your voice or walked in your law. they have done nothing of all that You commanded them to do; therefore You have caused all this calamity to come upon them...

And You have said to me, O Lord GOD, 'Buy the field for money, and take witnesses'!--yet the city has been given into the hand of the Chaldeans."

But see how God responds...

"Behold, I am the LORD Yahweh, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?...I will rejoice over them to do them good, and I will assuredly plant them in this land, with all My heart and with all My soul."

Why do we question God when we KNOW...WE KNOW (!)...that He wants what's best for us...with all His heart and soul?

Favorite places

On the roof, looking over the edge.

When my older brother got married, he used to joke about how mom kept him 10 feet from every woman. His wife thanked mom for that ;)

My first year of college, mom sent me a small package. Along with some always appreciated chocolate ;) was a small spiral bound book.

"The Little Wait Book"

Under the yellow cover were 3x5 inch pages with scripture verses on them. Verse upon verse of God's thoughts on waiting. On the last page, she had looked up the Hebrew translations for the word, WAIT:

• arab - to lay in wait
• arab- those that lie in wait
• ereb- lie in wait
• duwiniuah- wait
• duwman- quietly wait

Waiting has never been my strong point. I was the whining child in the back seat on family vacations..."are we there yet?" "how long until we stop again?" "are we there yet?" I'm somewhat surprised my parents didn't strangle me when they had the chance ;)

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"Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed..."-Ps. 25:3

"Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, for I wait for You." -Ps. 25:21

"Wait on the LORD Yahweh, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD Yahweh." -Ps. 27:14

"Our soul waits for the LORD Yahweh; He is our help and our shield." -Ps. 33:20

"Rest in the LORD Yahweh, and wait patiently for Him...for evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the LORD Yahweh, they shall inherit the earth." -Ps. 37:7,9

"Wait on the LORD Yahweh, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherity the land; when the wicked are cut off, you shall see it." -Ps. 37:34

"And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in You." -Ps. 39:7

"I waited patiently for the LORD Yahweh; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry." -Ps. 40:1

"I will praise You forever, becuase You have done it; and in the presence of Your saints I will wait on Your name, for it is good." -Ps. 52:9

"I will wait for You, O You his Strength; for God is my defense." -Ps. 59:9

"Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation." -Ps. 62:1

"My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him." -Ps. 62:5

"I am weary with my crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God." -Ps. 69:3

"Let not those who wait for You, O Lord GOD Yahweh of hosts, be ashamed because of me..." -Ps. 69:6

"For my enemies speak against me; and those who lie in wait for my life take counsel together." -Ps. 71: 10

"These all wait for You, that You may give them their food in due season." -Ps. 104:27

"I wait for the LORD Yahweh, my soul waits, and in Him word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning---yes more than those who watch for the morning." -Ps. 130:5-6

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Anxiety comes from a lack of waiting on God. I'm good at anxiety :) Yesterday, my pastor preached from Genesis 13--the parting of Abraham and Lot. Abraham gave Lot the choice of land and because of his generosity, he did not receive the immediate gratification of good land. BUT...Abraham waited patiently on the Lord and experience the fullness of God's blessing in the promised land. The application to this was simply put...

Do we take immediate gratification instead of waiting for the lasting fullness of blessing?

It's hard to wait for God's best. I pray I have the strength to trust in God and father for what's best. I pray the same strength for you.

Worlds collide

I've grown up in three worlds.

CALIFORNIA was my home for many years. My family began there. I met Christ there. I made life-long friendships and created fond memories there. Then I moved and left much of that world behind.

TEXAS became a new home...new family...first time in a school...new life-long friends...new experiences...roots for where my parents would plant their family for several years. Then I graduated.

ILLINOIS was the place for college. How blessed I am to be able to attend the college of my choice. I have connected with incredible people and learned so much of God and His life for me in that place.

But what happens when worlds collide?











My dear sister, Tiffany (high school friend and now roommate) and I invited our dearest friends home with us for part of spring break. I was apprehensive of such a visit. To invite people into your home is to give a bit more understanding of who you were before college (or whatever the current situation may be). It allows them insight into your training---why you are they way you are now.

I am so appreciative of these people. Tiffany, Sarah, Becky (though she could not come this trip), Bruce, Jesse, Scott (and many other unlisted friends). These people have become family for me in many ways and have proved to be faithful and loyal companions--the kind that remain before, during, and after the hard spells. How rare...

These last weeks have been hell to walk through in the area of friendships. They have been hard for all. At times, it is easy to lose understanding and grace for others. It is easier to break frustrations on others and cause them to carry the burden of your own inadequacies. But those that are able to be honest and rebuke you...those are the ones to keep around.

I have learned ...
To not steer from a harsh rebuke, but learn to listen for its truth,
That you can't give up on friendships,
That God will keep surprises from you until He sees fit to reveal them,
That hurts will be healed,
and that reconciliation is not just a responsibility, but also a gift.

I pray your recent weeks have been as challenging and encouraging.

May blessings exceed in your life,
em