If only flowers lasted forever...

Pumpkin Festival

I'm going to the pumpkin capitol in two days!!!! Be jealous... :)

Blessed to be so.

Blessed to be in a loving family.
Blessed to have a legacy of Christian parents and grandparents.
Blessed to be able to worship God openly without fear of persecution.
Blessed to have work--to exercise diligence and stewardship.
Blessed to have freedoms that other cultures' women lack.
Blessed to be in school--to learn and to live as Christ reveals in scripture.
Blessed to live in Christian community with others that seek after God.
Blessed to approach God's throne, despite my depravity and lame tongue.
Blessed to have health and rest and energy.
Blessed to have speech.
Blessed to hear and make music.
Blessed to know, receive, and give love.
Blessed to have hurts, and from them grow stronger.
Blessed to know doubt, so faith might be strengthened.
Blessed to be so.

BABY!!!!

TIME FOR PSALM TO BE BORN!!!!

It might be hope...

"…in these pages I plead with you as a father—perhaps a father who loves you dearly, or the father you never had. Or the father who never had a vision for you life I have for you—and God has for you. Or the father who has a vision for you, but it’s all about money and status…I plead with you: Desire that your life count for something great! Long for your life to have eternal significance. Want this!”

-John Piper; Don't Waste Your Life-

Final times with Dr. Easley

It's been a huge privilege to be a student under his leadership. I had heard such great things from my aunt and uncle, past members of his previous church, that I had high expectations for how he would lead. My expectations were surpassed, but not by his great oratory or diplomatic manner, though he has both...I was more impressed with the quiet way he spoke. I admire Dr. Easley because he never communicates any scripture to the students that has not first made an impact on his own life.

This morning was the final president's chapel that Dr. Easley would be preaching as Moody's president. His charge to the audience was this:

SEEK THE LORD ALL YOUR LIFE.

"What voices are you listening to?" he asked. "Radiate the wisdom of Christ. Be wise as you age."
May God prepare him for whatever ministry he is brought to next.

"...for if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail;
but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them.
You might even be found opposing God!"
(Acts 5:38-39)

Face masks and capes...

Perhaps we'll discuss a different type of hero.

Who are 5 people you would consider to be your heroes in this life? (People you have known in your lifetime.) I can name several of my own...

What happens when you realize your hero is also human...has flaws...defects...sins of their own? Do you brace yourself under that pedestal to keep it from toppling over?

I've been processing this concept for the past few months and come to a few conclusions. There have been several people in my acquaintance that I've truly looked up to...worshiped, in a loose use of the term. These people have a great deal of wisdom; they approach life with a solid mind and open heart. But as with anything in the human life, we must be wary of putting to much admiration and emphasis into another person. We're all humans...depraved humans at that.

The cliche, but none-the-less true, fact is that Christ is the true hero. Our hearts long to be in awe and astonishment of someone. Humans will disappoint and fail. Christ endures forever...Christ never fails. "The soul was made to stand in awe of a Person--the only person worthy of awe. All heroes are shadows of Christ. We love to admire their excellence. How much more will we be satisfied by the one Person who conceived all excellence and embodies all skill, all talent, all strength and brilliance and savvy and goodness" (John Piper--Don't Waste Your Life).

I believe it's okay to look up to people...to appreciate the Christ-like qualities in them...but not to the extent that we cannot recognize their humanity and depravity as well.

Random thoughts...

Last night I learned that there is such a thing as "dirty chai." Chai tea+a shot of expresso. I've not tried it yet, but it must be something amazing.

I got my curfew exemption sticker today :) Much to my parent's dismay, I can stay out all night and party if I decided to turn my life that way. But thank goodness for everyone's sake, I like to be in bed before 11. :)

My favorite author is CS Lewis (like a billion other people's favorite). I found a quote of his in the preface of a textbook...

"There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious."

That's all for now, folks!

Autumn winds blow the summer gates closed.

Summer has officially come to a close. All things to their proper end, I suppose. Why are transitions so unsettling at times?

As I reflect on the summer, I've really questioned my stewardship of the time. After my trip to Africa fell through, at first I was truly settled with that reality, trusting that God had other plans. But when those other plans didn't seem to meet MY standard of importance, I was very disappointed. Instead of freeing slaves, mending physical wounds, or working in refugee camps, God prepared my hands for different work:
* Going through boxes in my parent's attic...
* Scrubbing ceiling fans and floors...
* Making posters for Psalty musicals...
* Writing letters to distant friends...
* Playing in water fountains with nephews...
* Journaling thoughts of the year in order to see God's faithfulness over time.

I learned many lessons--most of them small and seemingly insignificant, but lessons must begin simply before moving on to the complex.

As I step into another semester at Moody, I do not have the giddy feelings in my stomach of excitement. The smell of freshly sharpened pencils and new books no longer intoxicates me. Rather, I'm of a mindset of joy--I am contented in this place God has rested me. I am learning to approach the Scriptures with more reverence. I am learning to worship God for the mundane as well as the brilliant times of life. I am eager and anxious for the Spirit's conviction through classes and conferences.

I appreciate that God always has purpose. I am so blinded to His purposes sometimes, but I am grateful that He doesn't count on us seeing them to have them exist.

One step at a time.

Favorite days...

"Begin Happy"

Proverbs 23:17
"Do not let your heart envy sinners,
But be zealous for the fear of the LORD all the day."

Proverbs 23:23
"Buy the truth and do not sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding."

Proverbs 23:24-25
"The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him. Let your father and mother be glad and let her who bore you rejoice."

Psalm 28:7c
"Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him."

Psalm 38:17-20
"For I am ready to fall,
And my sorrow is continuously before me.
For I will declare my iniquity;
I will be in anguish over my sin.
But my enemies are vigorous and they are strong;
And those who hate me wrongfully have multiplied.
They are my adversaries--those also who render evil for good--because I follow what is good."

Introspectiveness is contageous.

Perhaps it's the rain...
Perhaps it's missing people...
Perhaps it's just me. :)

I will miss my steadfast family.

Little monsters

"Hey mom! Look what the cat dragged in!" Oh wait...

So Puddy (my adorable, yet very fat and lazy cat) and I were curled up in bed...peacefully resting. *ticktick* We wake up...Puddy raises her droopy-eyed face to look at the window. Thinking it's a bug hitting the window, she stretches and jumps on the sill. By this time, I've revisited my comfortable sleep state.

*BAM*

Suddenly, every hair on that cat's body was standing straight up. Dug into my window screen was a set of sharp teeth!
Three coons had climbed a tree and got themselves stuck on my roof. As I banged on the window to scare the creatures away, they tried to dig a hole into my room. Deer spray and a flood light later, Puddy and I went back to bed.
Next time you think "oh how cute and cuddly" about these furry beasts, just ask one of them to smile at you...

Thoughts of another

"Dream Deferred"
by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
and then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crest and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?



"After Great Pain"
by Emily Dickinson

After great pain a formal feeling comes
The nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;
The stiff Heart questions--was it He that bore?
And yesterday--or centuries before?

The feet mechanical
Go round a wooden way
Of ground or air or Ought, regardless grown,
A quartz contentment like a stone.

This is the hour of lead
Remembered if out lived,
As freezing persons recollect the snow--
First chill, then stupor, then letting go.



"The Garden of Love"
by William Blake

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen:
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And "Thou shalt not" writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love,
That so many sweet flowers bore;

And I saw it filled with graves,
And tombstones where flowers should be;
And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.

Prove the impossible...

Given X = Y = 1

X = Y

X² = XY

X² = Y² = XY – Y²

{(X – Y)(X + Y)}/(X – Y) = {Y(X-Y)}/(X – Y)

X + Y = Y

1 + 1 = 1

2 = 1

The fruits and nuts of the family tree...

Sorry...no pictures in this one. :)

I'm a thinker. This is a blessing and a curse. I think too long on things that don't mean 2 cents and I don't think before I act or say something stupid. Unfortunate. However, in the hours and hours of miscellaneous thought-flow, God sticks in a very directed chain of thought, and boy are those times good.

Throughout the summer, I have seen patterns in my life that reflect very similarly to some in my parents and grandparents. As I looked into it more, I realized that I had never studied or questioned the concept of generational sin. Now, be advised that these are merely the preliminary findings of an ignorant teenager. However, they have opened up some great doors of understanding for me.

First of all, there is something to be said for the way one is influenced by parents and previous generations. The all too common example people use is that of an alcoholic: a child of an alcoholic parent is statistically more likely to become an alcoholic. I think the same can be said for any prevalent sin--children watch their parents' example of sin, there is a chance they might follow such example and be guilty of the same sin.

HOWEVER...(brilliant quote I found)..."Although significantly influenced by them, believers are not slaves to their environment, circumstances, nerve endings, psyche, chemical soup, or parents."

The concept of "generational sin" seems to stem from the passage of Scripture: Exodus 34:6-7. "⁶Then the LORD passed by in front of him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness and truth; ⁷who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations."

Listen to what Wayne Grudem says about this passage: "This statement shows the horrible nature of sin in the way it has effects far beyond the individual sinner, also harming those around the sinner and harming future generations as well. We see this in tragic ways in ordinary life...the children of abusive parents often become abusive parents. Christians who are forgiven by Christ should not think of these phrases as applying to them, however, for they are in the other category of people mentioned just before this section on 'the guilty': they are among the 'thousands' to whom God continually shows 'steadfast love,' and in continually 'forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin' (vs. 7). When someone comes to Christ the chain of sin is broken (1 Peter 1:18-19)."

Unfortunately, it seems as though many people have taken the scriptures on this subject and changed them from a message of hope to one of excuse. We cannot say, "well, because of this generational sin in my family, it's not my fault that I struggle with it." WRONG-O. May I again say, if we are believers in Christ, then it is HE who has won the victory over sin and REDEEMED us from the "curse of the law" (Galatians 3:10-14).

Here is the cool part...when we believe in Christ, we are no longer heirs of SIN...but heirs of GOD. We have an inheritance in Christ.

So there are some of my random thoughts. These are some websites I read and a couple books that discuss generational sin:

www.tmch.net/gensin.htm
www.porn-free.org/generational_sin.htm
www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2004/mayjun/4.16.html
www.voiceofonecrying.com/generational_sins_or_god.htm
Breaking Free by Beth Moore
Blessing or a Curse by Derek Prince

An annual tradition...

As it has unfortunately become...

Last summer, within a period of two weeks, I rear-ended two people. Today was my lucky day! Poor Elmer (my parent's white toyota camery) felt like it was time to renew that lovely experience and was rear-ended today :) CJ, this time it WASN'T my fault ;)

His car...
My car...

I think maybe I should buy a tank now.

The delights of culture...

The past few summers, my sisters and I have realized the importance of learning from and encouraging one another. I have been so fortunate to have a sister live near in San Antonio. We had a sister-date last night. Our original intent was to have Moroccan food, to be eaten on the floor tables, but alas...San Antonio has no such places (at least that we could find). Instead, we settled for a different kind of ethnic experience. We went to Madras Pavilion which, I must tell you, was fabulous. We ordered a few dishes and were given a wonderful tutorial by our waiter as to how the yogurt and lemon curries assist to calm the pallet after intense spices :) It was wonderful. Our favorite dish was the Chicken Korma...a white meat chicken, cooked in sweet coconut milk and light curry and cilantro.
Oh yum... :)
I encourage you to visit similar restaurants and experiment. VERY rewarding :) Bring a sister or a friend. That makes it 200 times better. :)

Parents, guess where those extra $5 bills go....

THAT'S RIGHT! T-SHIRTS! As I've been going through attic boxes this summer, I came across one that was full of clothes. As I pulled them out, low and behold, there are all my senior year t-shirts (mind you...JUST senior year). I think the final total for the ones I kept was 15... that's ridiculous. Let me show you a few...

Ah the days of high school...they don't provide your clothes for you in college :(

Random tidbits :)