Will we reconcile?

This watercolor was done by a dear friend, Judi Gremminger, many years ago. It's of an enchanted estate in the California valley...Filoli Gardens. I haven't been there in years, but I remember it vividly. It was a place of peace. My family went there for special occasions or when we were overwhelmed. Somehow, looking at luscious flowers and towering trees reminded us of life, growth, and hope. Oh how I long to walk down those gravel paths again...

My heart is full and seemly overwhelmed by the day-to-day trials. I have FINALLY reached the conclusion that these struggles are never to end in this life. Wow. A brick in the face, isn't it? Injury and illness, pain and heartbreak, sorrow and struggle will always plague us in this earth. I do remember the HOPE I have in Christ, but I also just take time to step back and observe. The cycle is burdensome even with a believer's HOPE--can you imagine being without!? Tis hell in this life and all eternity.

I have been blessed to struggle these past few weeks...to wrestle with truth and with lies and to see the LORD prove that which is worthy. How bright truth shines when the dullness of doubt is cleared from it.

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More and more, I see the importance, yet the difficulty with living among the poor and homeless. As with any people that are not of our same social standing, I see so strongly how we as middle class Americans approach these people with presuppositions and unnecessary judgment. I've done my very best to engulf myself in this type of community in an effort to LEARN the ins and outs of homelessness. I have been amazed and sickened at my lessons. ALL SIDES ARE TO BLAME. There is not one person free of guilt for this huge problem. Oh, that all would take up their strengthened hands and serve one another! I have concluded that the keyword for all of this is: SOME.

• SOME homeless people are drug-addicts and alcoholics,
• SOME pan-handlers will take money and use it irresponsibly,
• SOME beggars are complete frauds...

...this should break your heart.

Yet...

• SOME homeless people are refined and polite ladies and gentlemen,
• SOME are business men and working women that once belonged to middle class America,
• SOME are hard-working diligent fathers and mothers, putting their children through school,
• SOME want to have a house, a job, and a family just like anybody else.

The SOME statements could continue forever. Up until high school, I had no real exposure to homelessness and poverty. Chelsea, a dearly missed friend and sister, was a huge influence in opening my eyes to this and to loving unconditionally and sacrificially. My presuppositions to that community were this:

Homelessness <--Laziness & unemployment
therefore, to solve homelessness, all we have to do is reverse the direction...
Get a job-->Pay for a home

Raise your hands--how many of you identify with this belief?

Almost all of you should be waving at a computer screen about now.

Saturday was a pleasant day. That evening while walking with a friend, we were approach by one of the local guys we see in front of the YMCA a lot. I don't think he remembers what his name is, most of the time, because it's usually different every time we meet him--that and he's normally fairly intoxicated ;-) While the friend I was with talked to him, a few feet away was another lady. I assumed immediately that she was also homeless since she was hanging around our confused drunk friend. I looked over to her and she waved shyly. I motioned for her to join the conversation and extended my hand to introduce myself. Her name is Maria, a beautiful and kind lady of 39 years. The two of us sat for 20 minutes or so talking about various things we had in common: church, music, education, etc. **My presuppositions hit me in the face as she pulled out her cell phone and asked for my phone number. She told me about her apartment and the life she leads. I was shocked at my own assumptions. Marie wanted a friend, not an evangelist. She didn't want money, she wanted to talk.**

DO WE TAKE THE TIME TO FIND OUT THE TRUTH?

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I find myself writing letters a lot. Funny how I never liked (still don't) to write papers for assignment purposes, but I write all the time to express my thoughts. I journal at least once a day, be it prayers or the mumblings of a cluttered mind. Back to the letters-thought, I've noticed that is my preferred method of communication (apart from face-to-face). Who has never experienced the joy of finding a letter in your mailbox...your name beautifully printed on the outside, and page after page of thoughts directed to you written inside!

Perhaps it is the other way around...a letter can give you the worst pain in your soul...the dread of reading news or one's opinion that you just can't bear to read. Words forever inked on a page for you to read and reread as long as you choose.

I've decided that I write too many "reconciliation" letters and not enough just for fun/encouragement letters. Expect letters soon. ;-)

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I'm happy to be so...happy to be here. I long to see my family.

The Law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes."
~Psalm 19:7-8~